A Theory on the White Screen of Death with a Smile

After posting a youtube video on an experience that I also posted about here (on Tuesday, December 21, 2010 White Screen of Death with a Smile)  I received a comment from a viewer suggesting that the head tap I experienced was a Shaktipat.  I'm currently researching this subject to learn more about it.

Three Visions

Today, I've decided to post 3 consecutive entries from my journal.  All three of these entries involve visions I had, and like all visions they may be nothing more than figments of my imagination.  I'm posting the first because I find it interesting, and I'm posting the second two for possible verification purposes. (I would like to know if there's anything to them.)

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11-23-09 (Vision)

I was viewing a room that was mostly brown and gray.  There were four men in it.  I remember that the two on the right were old, tall, and skinny.  It's possible that they all were.  (Possible that they were arranged left to right in order of age?)

These men felt like ghosts, but stranger than that, they all felt like different versions of me.

Question:  Were they me?  Were they ghosts?  Both?  Neither?

Notes:
-This image felt like I was seeing something external.  It didn't feel like imagination.

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11-?-09 (Written 2-3 days after vision)

I saw an image of several planets, one of them Earth, which over-lapped each other in location, though they were in separate realities.  The term "Micro Cyree" came to mind.

After attempting to research the word "Cyree" I have not come up with any meaning that makes sense.  Every variation of the word seems to come down to either a last name or the slang term used after the words "Yes" and "No," as in "Yes siree."  I did, however, learn of a French commune called "Ciry Le Noble."

Between the word "micro" (small) and the image I saw, I'm guessing that a "Micro Cyree" is a small space where the locations of several worlds overlap across multiple realities.

Notes:
-This image is a reasonable facsimile of what I saw when the term "Micro Cyree" came to mind. Planet Earth did show North America in the center, and the planet was tilted at this angle.  I do not remember what color the other six planets were, but they are to scale.  The planet to the left of Earth was a heavily cratered world while the planet to the right of Earth had a thick, Venus-like atmosphere and was tilted at the same angle as Earth.  Once again, it seemed to represent "A small space where the locations of several worlds overlap across multiple realities."

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12-3-09 (Vision)

Last night I meditated on going to my dream body. (I was experimenting with forcing a lucid dream by doing body sensing meditations on an imagined body, and then taking this imaginary body of sensation into a dream state.)  During this mediation I saw a vision of the constellation Orion.  My vision then scrolled down "South" of the star Saiph, to a star formation that I felt was too dim to see with the unaided eye.  The star at the bottom of the formation was calling attention to itself.  It felt like a civilization is there.

This image is based on the star chart I drew in my journal, after seeing the vision.

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Anyway, whether there is anything to any of these visions or not, I found them interesting enough to share.  Wish you well.  :-)

Life on Olkabar

Today, I thought I'd post a past-life-regression I once had.  This is the second regression I'd ever had that felt like it was real; and though it was technically accurate to what I asked for, it was nothing like what I had in mind.
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6-21-09  5:40pm  Past life regression Olkabar

I attempted another past life regression. This time I asked for another life "Relevant to love."

I had the image of myself as an alien being.  Dark charcoal-gray skin, large eyes with green slitted pupils.  I was walking through a street in a small but busy desert town.  The buildings were squat stone, boxy, with domes on the roofs and a ring around the dome.  Sometimes the rings would appear as light, other times as solid metal.  There was a man in the streets playing with some sort of dice.

I also saw a vision of another city from later in life.  This was a large city made by the same civilization, but it was at night, surrounded by forests and a lake.

I moved in time to an important incident.  I was back in the desert town and the sun exploded, leaving behind it's molten red and black remains.

When I asked my higher self what I did for a living, I got a bunch of confusing imagery.  (As if there was nothing in our society that actually compares.)  I kept seeing shirts, as in "giving the shirt off my back."  I don't think I made shirts.  I also kept seeing the dice the man in the streets was playing with.  Maybe I was a gambler?  I don't know.  Nothing I saw seemed completely accurate.

I asked to see the most important person to me here, and I saw my son.  We were at home and he was sitting on my lap.  We were building something out of wooden blocks.  He was a toddler.  It was a very tender moment.

These are some of the questions I asked my higher self.

Q- Is my son alive now?
A- Yes
Q-Where is he?
A- Not here. (Mind your own business.)
Q- What was the relevance of the exploding star?
A- It gave new life.
Q- Can I ever go home? (Meaning this other planet.)
A- No.  It is here. (Meaning my heart.)
Q- What was the name of the town?
A- Ilkabar (Maybe another attempt at saying Olkabar.  Perhaps neither is correct.)
Q- Will I meet him? (My Son)
A- Yes.
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Notes-
1- I started this past life regression by asking for a time and location.  The location I got was "Olkabar."  The time I got was 12,435 BC.

2- Physically I was 4-5ft tall.  Dark dry charcoal gray skin that looked reptile-like and well suited to dry climates.  My skin did not have any scales, it was smooth with thick wrinkles.  The head was large and round with a pointed chin at the bottom.  The eyes were large and light green with vertically slit pupils. There were small bags beneath the eyes.  My body was small, lean and humanoid with a light athletic musculature.  (reminds me of the build I've seen on some smaller olympic athletes.)  The hands were thin with large soft pads on the finger tips, like what is seen on many small tree-dwelling mammals.

3- When I asked for a past life that was "relevant to love" The images in my mind was of a fun sexual romp through the powdered wig era, and instead I got an alien family in their living room building things out of wooden blocks.

4- I have a nagging, though possibly false, feeling that I made the dice the man in the streets was playing with.  I have had other past life regressions where my job was to make totems or trinkets with religious significance.  These dice had the look of being hand made from clay.

5- The town was in the dry desert.  The sun was bright and the terrain was flat, rocky and light tan.  I have no memory of the temperature.

6- I do not remember if the large city was on the same planet, though I have no reason to believe it was another world.  It was actually one massive spike shaped building with the entire city contained within it.  There were rings around the upper part of this spike, much like the rings around the domes on the small town buildings.  The city was situated near the shore of a lush, beautiful mountain lake.  It was a forested region.  When I think of this city, the word "retirement" comes to mind.

7- The rings on the buildings seemed to have something to do with communication.  Some sort of antannie, perhaps?

8- I consider it important that my job doesn't really compare to anything we have here.

Like all past life regressions, who knows how much of this is real and how much was just imagined.  This regression had a real feel to it, however.

Felt it in my gut

Today I'm posting an experience from my journal, 11-19-10
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I was in bed and suffering from a lot of negative emotions.  I was trying to avoid bottling up these emotions and I didn't know how to let them go.

I opened my self up to a spirit guide and felt the presence of someone up and to my right.  I waved "hello" to them (him?) and asked my guide to help me use this emotion properly.

Instantly, I felt all those negative emotions move into my gut (solar plexus chakra.)  It didn't feel good but it felt right.  I think they left through my belly.
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Notes:

- I am not in regular contact with anyone that I would call a "spirit guide," at least not in the way other people have described.  Though, I understand, we all have one whether we are aware of them or not.

- Freeing negative emotions to leave my soul has been a major focus of my meditations the last several months.

Work = Fugue = Life

One small part of a dream I had last night involved me installing an electrical outlet in a wall (possibly a doorway) and both the outlet and my installation of it represented a formula.  This formula was Work = Fugue = Life.

I looked up the word Fugue to try and interpret the meaning of the formula and found two definitions.  The first was a musical definition, of which I am too musically illiterate to understand the meaning of.  The second definition of "fugue" is that of the psychological fugue-state, which is a state of amnesia NOT brought on by drug use or an injury.

This second definition makes sense to me because it fits in line with my opinion that the very act of living, itself, is a state of voluntary amnesia brought on to facilitate soul growth.  (One can not change/grow without choice, and choices are not possible unless one is ignorant of the true outcome of their choices.)  That said, if the meaning of this formula is so inline with what I already believe, then why did I find it so important?

Any ideas and opinions on the subject would be much appreciated.  Just please make your ideas constructive.  :)

-Dax

The Woman in the Hall

As I was at work today, I noticed that the bottle I was drinking from had some dried soda on the outside of it, so I took it out to the drinking fountain to wash it off.  There is a doctor's office around the corner, from which I saw a little old lady walking painfully down the hall. 

She was old and walked with a cane in one hand and an  oxygen bottle in the other.  I asked her if I could help her in any way.  Her response was, "No.  Well, maybe with an easier way to die."

To which I said, "The nice thing about death is that it's not an end."

She said "Yes it is."  and continued walking to the elevator.

I felt so much compassion for that poor lady. 

The "White Screen of Death" with a smile.

I was recently meditating on unconditional universal love.  I was laying there in bed meditating with the intent of continuing my meditation into sleep (as I often do), focusing on unconditional love toward all those beings, even the ones I don't want to love.  I focused on loving people who I felt had wronged me, beings who mean me harm, beings who church tells me to hate, even Cockroaches.

Eventually, I had the instinctive impression that someone had run up to me and gave me a light pop on the top of the head.  They popped me lightly but with purpose.  The instant this happened, my vision went white.  There was a part of me that was calling this "The White Screen of Death" but it's important to realize that this title was given with humor, not fear.  In other words, part of me was amused at this.  Probably the most important aspect of this "White Screen of Death" was that I couldn't think.  It's like the white was an anti-thought wall.

Anyway, I started working through the situation (instinctively.  I could act and feel, but thought was repressed.) and after a few seconds I'd removed the wall and could think normally again.

After spending some time contemplating this experience, I started wondering about the internal white light that many mediators have discussed.  There are people throughout the world who have described an internal white light that they experience while undergoing deep meditation.  They describe this light as being internal, bringing peace, and some have even referred to it as an inner cathedral. 

I was wondering if I didn't experience this same phenomenon but from a different perspective.  In a lot of meditation techniques, the goal is to bring about inner peace by silencing thought and so this white inner light is usually described as the result of heightened inner peace; but what if that's not what the inner light is, at all?  What if this inner light actually CAUSES the silencing of thought, maybe it's the cause and not the effect?  Maybe it's both?  ...or neither?  All I know is what I've experienced.  It's intriguing, none the less.